Surveying the costs of health insurance

I am currently fighting three health insurers, trying to get them to cover basic healthcare costs, including what is supposed to be covered under the ACA. Am now taking it to the next level. After meeting briefly with a health insurance advocate at New Hampshire's insurance department, I am in the process of filing official complaints with the state.

Meanwhile, I'm wondering if others are drowning in health insurance and medical bills--from ridiculously high premiums to astronomical deductibles, never mind the rising costs of co-pays. Therefore, I've created a brief Health Insurance Costs Survey and hope you'll follow the link to complete it and add your voice to what I consider a national crisis.

If you're outraged or even a bit peeved, please also consider contacting your elected officials. It's time to get them listening to us and our needs, rather than to the interests of health lobbyists and rich corporate donors from the country's medical industries. 

Link to the Health

Insurance Costs Survey;

thank you for your time.

Penning the six-word memoir

This year I've plunged into a practice of daily meditative writing. Or mostly daily. I embarked on this new journey one day as I was cleaning off my bookshelves, leaving my adjunct professor years behind while welcoming my new life as a writer. And occasionally teaching artist, especially now that I've been added to the New Hampshire State Council on the Arts roster.

While weeding through my vast collection of books, setting aside those I was certain I'd no longer need, I removed Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Later, sitting to read Pema Chodron and take some time to reflect and meditate, I noticed a book spine with the Shambhala Publications logo. Those who already know Goldberg's work and that of Chodron will know my instant excitement. I picked up the book, opened, and began reading. In that instant an entire new world of writing and meditating possibilities opened up to me.

I am onto a second book of Goldberg's now: The True Secret of Writing: Connecting Life with Language. In it yesterday I read about the six-word memoir.

Created at Canva.com.

Instantly intrigued, I grabbed my notebook, made grids, and wrote several. It's a fun word play that I used again today, penning: The bite of fresh ginger tea. It may not be revolutionary, but it was what I was thinking as I brewed green tea with fresh ginger for my husband this morning. I've not been a green tea aficionado, but have recently begun to develop a taste for it, so long as there is that sharp edge of fresh ginger root to spice up a warm cup or a glass of it cold.

As you can see from my graphic, I ended up expanding on the six-word concept until I had a handful of lines that together formed a memoir. It's a slice of who I am and who I'm becoming as I grow in my daily spiritual practice. I gladly share it with you, and invite you to try the six-word art form. I also recommend you consider launching your own daily meditative writing practice.

Together You Can Accomplish All

An angelic message of loving and compassionate guidance in troubling times of overwhelming lower-vibrational energy among the country's leaders.

This morning I sat down to my daily meditative writing and decided to reach out to my angels. What follows are my thoughts and questions (indicated within << and >>) and the answers I received through my head and pen. Yes, I wrote this out longhand, as has become my custom. A return to simpler times. And a nod to Natalie Goldberg’s advice—fill an inexpensive spiral-bound notebook a month. Or at least attempt to do so.

<< Angel write? Guides? Is anyone wanting to reach out now? With advice perhaps? Guidance? Wisdom from a higher plane? Ok, I have a question: How do we help ourselves maintain a higher vibration? AND: Is keeping a higher vibration akin to being more positive in general? >>

You can feel us filling your heart right now, can’t you? We’re helping to lift you to that higher plane you seek. Yes, we’ll slow down slightly. We’re sorry you’re sluggish. And that you’ve been down and depressed—in the dumps—lately. We are here to help you. Let us. Breathe in deeply. Breathe out slowly. Just be. And this will allow us to enter in, lift you up, join you, and help you through this troubling time.

Yes, it is disturbing to us too how a few very wealthy by earth, lower-vibrational standards can control so much of your government and thereby have dominance over your lives. All your lives. We don’t just mean you and your family, whose insurance and medical bills are deeply troubling not only to you, but to us too, and to your departed family members. That this is true for countless others in your country too is deeply disturbing and troubling to us all.

—Please be sure to share this with anyone who would stop by your blog.—

Your leader is working on an ego-based lower-vibrational field, which is impeding his ability to lead. Unfortunately, most of your elected officials, and by extension their appointees, are working under this negative energy force. They are guided as so many of you suspect by greed, which of course is an ego-driven concept. They accept great sums of money from unscrupulous agencies and agents—people living their lives in fear, within the lower vibration orbit. Thereby, they are absorbing this negative energy and transferring it among each other and to not only the American people, but to the world.

Yes, we will slow down again. It is urgent you and others get this message disbursed. It is why we continually speed up.

Also, we need to say to you: Trust us. We will and we are providing the words. You are very good to settle in and allow us this venue to speak to you and to others. You wanted to insert “hopefully” there. The hope is yours. We know you to be a gifted writer. Your words will be read by more than only your mom, your family, and friends. Your friends here on this side are asking us to relay to you now that they believe in your abilities as a writer—most always have. Okay. Back to our day’s message:

We are deeply concerned by the constant attempts to push down those among you who would rise up in solidarity and ask for, nay demand, what is yours/should be yours as a birthright. Free medical care—not so much free, but provided for nationally—is paramount to a loving, caring, and compassionate society.

<< Is there no compassion? >>

There is limited compassion among your elected and appointed officials. Too many are operating out of a place of fear and mistrust. Truth is the first casualty of war and of democracy in this case, in your country. Your leaders—most of them—are lying to you all, to the American voters, to the citizens.

Black Lives Matter. This is another failure of your country’s leaders. Unfortunately, this is a deep-rooted fear that reaches back to the dark times of slavery. European societies operated for so long in a feudal state that the aristocrats too easily bought into the notion that people who looked or talked or worshipped or lived differently than themselves were to be treated with utmost fear, contempt, hatred, and greed.

It is time for those of you discontented with racial ignorance, fear, hate, and greed to first pray, meditate, and/or become quiet in whatever manner is comfortable to you and to seek to lift to the higher vibration where you will see good in all people, even those who live in the lower vibration of the ego-driven world.

Then you must march. Not just for a weekend but for as long as it takes. Shut down Washington if you have to. It’s so malfunctioning now that little change will be seen. At first. Sit in as long as it takes. Each of you take on tasks you are comfortable with. Those who can cater and cook should feed the masses. Those who can sew and knit and crochet should clothe or warm the masses. Those who can sing or chant should raise your voices. Those who can write should pen the messages everywhere you can. Those who can fund the movement should contribute to a general fund. Those who can organize should do so.

<< What should our demands be? >>

Healthcare for all. If that’s Medicare, then so be it. Stop funding the megalopoly that is the American medical industry—it is literally killing tens of thousands every year.

<< Is it? >>

You are yourself more sick lately as a result of your oppressive medical bills and your insurance companies’ (yes, plural; we know you are fighting three corporate giants presently) refusal to pay bills they are or should be required to cover. You are not alone. Countless others are becoming more ill due to the stress of trying to pay their medical bills.

It is time for the American people—all American people, regardless of race, denomination, party loyalty,  etc.—to rise up, or sit down as it were, and not move until Senator Bernie Sanders is heard and respected and permitted to work with others uncorrupted by ego, the corporate giants, and the oligarchy, in order to fashion a Medicare for all that will take effect immediately. There should be no four-year phase in. This should have been done and dusted after World War II. And again in the 1960s and early 70s. And anytime since.

Let fear be no man or woman’s friend. Or guide.

Rise together and you all will not only begin to fix the ills that plague your country, but you will also raise the vibrations of others.

Do this out of love. And a desire to seek truth. See the light in all beings and it will be accomplished together.

<< When should we get up and go home? >>

That is not an easy question to answer. We mentioned Black Lives Matter. And that is next on the agenda, alongside environmental concerns and worries, and infrastructure.

<< That seems a lot to do. >>

There is much that needs tending if your country—and the world—is to survive.

<< You speak of North Korea? >>

And of your leader. He is not well. And he operates out of fear and a great concern for his own ego at the expense—great expense!—of everyone around him, your country, and the world. He needs your prayers. There are too many who would see him fail and burn in Hell. But that is not our way. He needs to be lifted up. To be loved. And forgiven. But your country also needs him to step aside or, more likely, be escorted aside by legal action.

Unfortunately, those who come up behind him also act out of fear-based lower vibrations. They seek to stamp out all we would stand for. It is their own fear of being voted out of office should they not do as their highest donors bid. They know someone else will gladly do this bidding in their stead.

<< So we should work on campaign finance law? >>

Yes. And term limits. But it is not our intent to completely overhaul your entire government.

<< That’s all we’ve talked of today. >>

It is on your mind. It is keeping you up at night. What was your first thought this morning when you awoke for the final time?

<< I wondered if we’d entered WWIII overnight. >>

Your concern was and is shared by many. This is why your current leader needs to be escorted out of office now. His ego-based fears may drive him to a corner where his actions may bring ruin and devastation to all.

<< Is this a certainty? If he stays? >>

We cannot predict the future. We can only help those who ask for our love and support. We are now busy helping many the world over with this concern, with the worries of healthcare in your country, and with the ravages of what you call Mother Nature and of cruel regimes everywhere.

We are happy to be of service, but we cannot alone help those who operate at a lower-vibrational, ego-based fear. They need assistance, which is why we propose a nationwide sit-in. Not just your country’s capitol, but in each state’s too. And in major commerce and finance districts. At the docks and shipping lanes. At transportation hubs. Shut down the country for a day or two, a week or more, if necessary, until two things are done immediately:

     1. Medicare for all is passed as law

     2. Your current president is escorted out of office

<< These things usually take longer than a few days or a couple weeks, I think. >>

That is the old way. A stymied congress. Representatives and senators loyal to a rich few. Make them see you’re not going to take it any more. Yes, as the song says.

Stop now please. Type this up and publish it. Today please.

<< Okay. Thank you. >>

Thank you.

Two steps forward, one step back

That's my hand at the top of Mt. Cube--a nearly 3,000 foot summit that I reached via a two-plus-mile trail in Orford, New Hampshire. My dog and I joined my husband and his puppy for the trek. I slowed them down a bit, but after several short rest stops, I actually made it, thanks mostly to the encouragement of my husband. And possibly to the lasting effects of my three-day fast.

While Sunday was a bit quieter since I was so exhausted, on Monday I found myself able to join my friend at Wonderwell Mountain Refuge for the evening meditation session. And on Tuesday she and I scooted down to Salem, Massachusetts to see my step mother-in-law and her niece and nephew-in-law. 

Wednesday was another recovery day. But by Thursday I was able to work on editing my novel again. Today I'm behind where I wanted to be by this time in the week, but I'm close to my goal. In a few minutes I'll return to the project and with any luck I'll be able to edit another five chapters. 

Sherman rests with me at the top of Mt. Cube.

My IC symptoms have stabilized, only occasionally bothering me now. And my most recent visit with my Lyme literate doctor was positive. I've now dropped one of three medications, as it looks like I've finally beaten the Babesia that's plagued me all summer. Now we're trying pulse antibiotic treatment with the other two medicines--where I only use each one week a month, and not at the same time. It will mean I must keep meticulous notes, tracking my symptoms each day.

One of the latest symptoms to slow me down is the return of my insomnia. I'm not sure what's behind it. One theory of mine is that I'm more active and able to think clearer, so my brain is making up for lost time when I was too exhausted to think or stay awake for long. I've also noticed that anytime one of the dogs moves or my husband snores I'm instantly awake, and have difficulty returning to sleep. Indeed, the only night I've managed to sleep through was when I started out on the sofa. 

  

Still, my thrill at reaching the peak last weekend has kept me going. I am getting better, I am getting better, I am.... If the Little Engine can do it, so can I!  

I’m up to 15 Tibetans a day!

I’m pleased with my progress post fast. And though all things aren’t perfect—today has been a struggle with depression, for instance—I feel like I am getting better and stronger. Maybe one of these days I’ll even give the bionic man and woman a run for their money.

Yesterday, for the first time since the fast, I loaded the dog in the car and took him to the start of the mild climb up to the town’s fire tower. It’s a short walk and not much of an uphill march since most of the ascent is by car to the trailhead. The tower itself was closed. I must admit that we didn’t walk the final 30 feet since the grasses were overgrown in the clearing. Afraid of ticks, am I.

Can't see the forest for the ticks

Today on my way back from grocery shopping I stopped at a quarter-mile trail down a small embankment to see some magical old growth trees. The wooded path was clear, but anytime my dog and I encountered even the slightest opening in the canopy, grasses and other brush emerged. I found one tick on my pant leg and calmly removed it, but promptly turned around with only a quick general hello to the trees.

I had hoped to stop and enjoy their presence. But ticks and I do not mix. And though I didn’t outright panic, I had a bit of a fight on my hands, trying to remain positive and not fall further into depression. At the car I found no ticks, but that hasn’t stopped my body from itching ever since—and that was almost three hours ago.

The power of positive thoughts

On my drive home, I began by breathing in the depression and breathing out joy, compassion, and love, but reasoned I needed some of that positive energy internalized, so I ended up breathing in a bit of it for myself too. I didn’t release the depression energy into the world, instead owning it and winning it over with a positive attitude. It worked. By the time I returned home I was feeling better. And right this moment I’m feeling much better. It also helped landing on a positive title for my blog post.

We really are what we eat

Last week’s fast triggered symptoms of interstitial cystitis. I hadn’t experienced pain in my bladder since 2012. The moment I realized my body was in trouble, I adopted my restrictive, acid-free diet (available HERE), though without the dairy products, which I haven't been able to tolerate since giving them up during my first bout with Lyme a few years ago. I was feeling better within 48 hours, and have already been able to add back many of the foods I love.

My theory is that I may have pumped a wee bit too much lemon and/or vinegar water into my otherwise empty belly. The next time I pursue the three-day fast I will definitely commit to drinking only water—no caffeine or additives of any kind.

I had hoped to have typed up my first few post-fast days by now. I will get to that soon. For now, it’s time for dinner. And I’m happy to be able to eat it!

Note: The title refers to the Five Tibetan Rites exercises of Yoga poses that are completed in sets of three up to as many as 21 at a time, explained a bit HERE and on several other sites. I've done these nearly daily since the beginning of the year after choosing this as one of my New Year's Resolutions. Over the past several months I built up my number of repetitions to 21, but that number dropped during the fast and in post fast. I hope to build up to 21 again soon. I also hope to do these daily the rest of my life. I tend to follow my Tibetans with meditation, another reason I am so devoted to my daily practice.

Was it a Water-Only 3-Day Fast?

One of the questions I fielded from family and friends—and especially my concerned husband—was whether or not I was adding any other calories to my day.

While ideally my three-day fast would have consisted of only water—warm, room temperature, and cool to change it up a bit—as you’ll notice in my graphic below that records what I drank, I found I couldn’t maintain a simple water-only regime.

In my not-extensive-enough research prior to embarking on this journey I found some sites recommended the consumption of up to 200 calories a day, mostly in the form of honey, organic cider vinegar, and lemon juice. I didn’t want to add any calories since the study that I noted in my first blog post on this journey promoted a water-only fast, as does Jonathan Turley’s first-person account of his own successful three-day water-only fast.

Listening to the needs of my body

However, in Day One I had a scant couple of calories of honey mid-day, and ended the day with a crushing headache that prompted another 10 or 11 calories of honey. I hadn't caught it soon enough and soon found myself with a migraine. I chose to shut down my painful symptoms with a generic Excedrin and half a Dramamine. It was the right decision for me, but admittedly may not be ideal for the purpose of the fast. I own that.

The next two days I added black coffee, sometimes with half a teaspoon of honey, consuming it at the regular times of day I ordinarily drink it. More research during my fast revealed that caffeine addicts frequently experience the headaches caused by withdrawal. For my next three-day fast, I will prep several weeks ahead, finally kicking my caffeine habit once and for all before I attempt the water-only fast. Yes, I do believe I will be embarking on this journey again.

Breaking fast can be hard to do

You can see that I broke the fast at 7:50 pm on Day Three. That’s because I technically began at 7:45 on Saturday prior to Day One. As I mentioned in my first post, I’ve taken up the daily routine of a 12-hour fast. Since I am a natural early riser, and because breakfast is often my favorite meal of the day, I decided months ago to make eight pm my latest target time to stop eating for the day.

If you’re considering embarking on your own three-day fast, I hope you can learn from my missteps and my successes. Of course, you should do your own research. And consultation with a physician or a natural caregiver is helpful (and recommended in most every narrative you’ll read). I did mention that I was considering the fast to my holistic nutritional advisor at Bridge to Natural Wellness who had a few notes for me, but seemed to sense that I was determined to make this journey on my own terms.

And what a journey’s it’s been…and continues to be. My next post will sum-up my three days post fast. Bon appetit!

Note: My fruit, cider vinegar, & lemon juice was organic. The honey is local. 

Another note: The Tibetans refers to the Five Tibetan Rites exercises of Yoga poses that are completed in sets of three up to as many as 21 at a time, explained a bit HERE and on several other sites. I've done these nearly daily since the beginning of the year after choosing this as one of my New Year's Resolutions. Over the past several months I built up my number of repetitions to 21, but you can see that number dropped during the fast and in post fast. I hope to build up to 21 again soon. I also hope to do these daily the rest of my life. I tend to follow my Tibetans with meditation, another reason I am so devoted to my daily practice.

Day Three is not as Smooth as Day Two

While yesterday I experienced an overwhelming Zen feeling and felt more energized than I have in weeks, maybe even months, today I woke at 6 a.m. tired and hangry (when hunger causes anger).

Actually, that may be an overstatement. I had a few moments of feeling that way—especially while I made my husband’s lunch and prepared his dinner for the crockpot. But I was able to identify it, even stating out loud, “I feel hangry now.” That made it dissipate. Warm water helped too. And our two happy dogs who never seem to get hangry even when it’s past their mealtime.

Today as I write this there are only a precious few hours left in the great three-day fast experiment. Five to be exact. Four hours and 44 minutes if I’m really being precise. Yes, I am counting down to that degree. Yet I am also trying to accomplish other things so I can distract myself from the fact that I’m occasionally hungry.

To-Do List as Distraction

Balancing the checkbook today and going over our summer expenses I experienced two belly rumbles. They’re my first since midday Sunday. My initial thought was to head into the kitchen and see what was available to eat. But then I remembered, “Oh yeah, I’m fasting. My only choice is water.” The water worked, dispelling my hunger almost immediately.

When it came time to vote in today’s primary elections for state offices, I wasn’t sure I had the energy to walk. My knee gave out just after I had tossed a peanut-butter bone to my dog, which convinced me to drive the couple blocks. It felt good to vote. And it feels great to cross off so many items from the to-do list. Even with the weariness I am still able to do more today than I could all of last week. 

Just Nod if You Can Hear Me

I just got off the phone with the nurse at my primary care physician’s office. It was a challenge parsing out the symptoms from last week vs. today, but we managed. I’m thinking I’m not supposed to still feel this bad after being on antibiotics and extra supplements since February. Because I’m no longer sure all my symptoms are caused by Lyme, I want to see a rheumatologist to discuss my progress and my challenges. I’d like answers, but even just someone to listen is a good start.

Present and Future Posts 

I know today’s post is a rambling update of my day. I can’t help that. It’s my brain on hunger, and hopefully on reboot. I envision a future post to include a recap of what I drank during the fast and a few notes on things like bathroom breaks (I was up twice as much last night compared to the night before, for instance). After having heard from several people via Facebook and text messages that they’d like to know more about my experience on the fast, I’d like to make even the more personal information available to anyone who might be interested.

I will also write about my post-fast strategy. Tonight at 7:45 I won’t get to savor a veggie burger on a gluten-free bun. Instead I have an organic homemade juice planned. I don’t have a juicer, so my blender and a sieve are going to have to do. I’ll mix the result at least 50/50 with water, possibly watering it down even more than that. One glass is all I plan to have before bed. And tomorrow, after my customary morning two glasses of water, I’ll have another. Of course we all know what is said about plans made, right?