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Saturday, May 09, 2020

More GMO Corn? Oh, heck no!

Wondering how to channel your frustration with federal government? How about registering your response to the invitation to petition the USDA on the Monsanto Company's attempt to deregulate a variety of corn that has been genetically modified for tolerance for a whole host of poisons?
Public comments open through July 7, 2020.

You can download and read the petition and the Federal Register Notice, then submit a public comment. Register your thoughts, even if they're as brief as, "NO!!! Do not deregulate this GMO corn!"

Better, as noted on the USDA page, are comments on the environmental or economic impacts.

Below is my response (which is a bit afield of the environmental or economic impacts). You'll note that the first paragraph is filled with big words, which I copied from the top of the Bayer/Monsanto petition to show I really was commenting on this topic. But then I make it personal, not that the board of directors of a company like Bayer/Monsanto would care. But perhaps the government agency employees will. 

Personalize your own response, if you want, as you register your opinion.  Or, if you're able to do so, please comment on the environmental and/or economical impacts. (Maybe the economic impacts of all the sick consumers having to take time off from work and pay for healthcare?) 

"Please do NOT allow Bayer/Monsanto (or any company) to go forward with nonregulated Genetically Engineered Maize (or any crop) that is altered for the poisons Dicamba, Glufosinate, Quizalofop, and 2,4-Dichlorophenoxyacetic Acid Tolerance with Tissue-specific Glyphosate Tolerance Facilitating the Production of Hybrid Maize Seed.

"I have been ill since 2005 as a direct result of Lyme disease and tick-borne co-infections AND due to Glyphosate in GMO foods such as corn and wheat. Bayer/Monsanto is poisoning citizens and making human beings sick. The company needs to be held accountable to consumers, NOT to stockholders.

"Government should be in place to protect the health and safety of its citizens. NOT to allow malfeasance of corporations.

"Instead, please encourage Bayer/Monsanto and other corporations to use their science knowledge for the good of all. Government should reward companies that help people, not the ones that poison us all."

Monday, April 15, 2019

Why is Lyme Disease so Difficult to Diagnose & Treat?

So, the New Hampshire Senate's Committee on Health, Human Services, and Elderly Affairs has ignored the testimony of patients and apparently thumbed their noses at the NH House's HHSEA Committee's unanimous passing of HB 490. Instead of passing it, they have effectively pocketed the bill, apparently giving the state's Medical Association time to prepare additional arguments against it. However, they still have time to reverse this decision this week. Am hopeful they will.

The bill would establish a commission to study the role of clinical diagnosis and the limitations of serological diagnostic tests in determining the presence or absence of Lyme and other tick-borne diseases...and available treatment protocols, plus appropriate methods for educating physicians and the public about the inconclusive nature of prevailing test methods and available treatment alternatives.

Attached is a brief history of my own timeline of my battle with Lyme disease and other tick-borne co-infections (more information is available on my website). I am hoping this illustrates just how difficult this journey was for me, and is for so many others. Our question is WHY? 

Why is it so complicated to diagnose and treat Lyme disease?

I implore any Granite Staters who are concerned about passing HB 490 now to contact senators of the HHSEA committee before April 18. Thank you!


Friday, March 22, 2019

Lyme caused my Interstitial Cystitis (IC)


In sharing my experience for the February article, What Causes Interstitial Cystitis? How 10 Women Got to the Root of Their Bladder Pain, by Suzannah Weiss for Bustle, I was asked, "How did you find out your IC was due to Lyme?" 

I thought I'd share my answer here, in case it can help someone. In the article, which deftly weaves together the stories of all 10 patients, I am the Dana that is mentioned somewhere in the middle. 

The short answer is that my LLMD told me so—based on his years of experience with patients.

The medium answer is that I saw evidence of it as the antibiotics that helped me heal from my Lyme ALSO eventually eliminated my IC symptoms.

The long answer includes dates/timeline:
  • In November 2011 I presented with so much blood in my urine that a doctor and a nurse each commented they had never seen so much; usually blood in urine is microscopic. (My specimen cup looked like raspberry lemonade.)
  • While my doctors then did not diagnose IC, I had Googled “prostatitis for women” based on my symptoms being so similar to my late dad’s prostatitis. I found IC. Bought the book “You Don’t Have to Live with Cystitis” by Dr. Larrian Gillespie, and immediately followed the extremely restrictive diet. I also created the website Confessions of a Chocoholic about the diet and some of my early experiences. 
  • At the end of February 2012 a new doctor diagnosed IC. As a result, I began being seen in a woman’s clinic with several new doctors and caregivers, including a urologist, an OB/Gyn, a chiropractor, a physical therapist, an acupuncturist, and a nutritionist. 
  • My restrictive diet gave me back some mobility. When I first became ill, I couldn’t travel since I had to void every twenty minutes. By summer 2012, I could go about an hour, which meant I could more easily travel to doctor offices, and that I could finally travel an hour to my sister-in-law’s to participate in expanded family activities. (I was particularly loyal to the diet since the urologist suggested a couple operations involving either expanding my bladder or removing it in order to solve the IC symptoms; neither sounded acceptable to me, so I decided to give the diet a chance.)
  • In June 2013 I cut myself and it quickly became infected. As a result, I was put on heavy duty antibiotics…and almost instantly felt great. My physician assistant ordered a lyme test since I shouldn’t have felt good on these particular antibiotics. The test wasn’t itself conclusively positive, but combined with my history of illnesses that extended to 2005, she consulted with the area’s LLMD and together they decided to treat me for Lyme. I “enjoyed” the herx process, which I soon recognized as a positive sign that the meds were working. I had developed a number of other autoimmune disorders since the November IC symptoms had begun, and my herxing experience was that my latest illnesses were first heightened and then gone, such that IC was one of the last to be finally cleared away.
  • Today—and for the past several months—I am battling Lyme again. My fifth bout of it. This particular turn has my IC flaring something horrible. I am using natural tinctures and supplements, plus a moderately restrictive diet, to treat it this time (with the help of a natural wellness specialist) rather than the antibiotics, which eventually seemed to tire my gut. I have to admit that my current stress levels have meant that I keep caving to cravings (sweeteners like honey & maple syrup), which has slowed my progress. Am only human, I guess…. But I need to stop feeding the Lyme sweeteners. I am hoping I can get back on track this month.
Thanks for asking! Good luck with the article. And feel free to ask additional questions. I’ll try not to be so verbose. 



Thursday, March 21, 2019

All good things...

It's official: I'm writing again.

Today it was only a glimmer of a chapter, but it happened. Rewriting, actually. Chapter Six. Dinosaur that I am, I tend to write in a notebook first. Yes, longhand. Cursive even. That none but I can read (just ask my former students or clients).

So today I grabbed one of three notebooks filled to the brim with the sketchings of my first-draft, second-in-the-series novel, and picked up where I'd left off: at the beginning of the next chapter. I didn't get far. But I'm not bothered by that, because I'm writing again.

Also editing. I finally found a couple hours to sit with a client's final chapter of her novel (yay, her!!!) to edit and pen my notes. And before that, I reconciled four months of our household bills, and prepped for the next onslaught. Including that big ticket item: the IRS. Oy! They do come calling for those of us who happen to be self-employed. That's both my husband and me. Therefore, April 15th is always the most painful day of the year: The day we pay up on the former year's taxes AND pay the first installment of the current year's taxes.

If lawmakers want my vote, they would do well to break up those two painful self-employed payments. And do something about making healthcare affordable. Before you scoff--do you pay over $16,000 a year for two people, which doesn't amount to much of anything covered until we fork out another $13,000??? Glass houses, people!

Of course they should also bloody well follow New Zealand's lead and get the high caliber rifles outta the hands of everyone in this country (NRA, I'm looking at you, you nasty buggers!). And don't even get me started on climate change (have you seen my film at the McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center? If not, why not?).

But I digress. Since I do, reminder to self: I need tissues next time I'm at the grocers. And bananas.

So tomorrow's looking up: I think I'll jump right back into rewriting and typing chapter six into my computer. I'll also be picking up my already published novel, as I reread and review before my Lyme disease discussion with Dr. Lynn Durand, LLMD, at Gibson's Bookstore next Thursday evening at six o'clock. It's free, if you want to join us. You can buy my book too while you're there. That won't be free, but what in life actually is?

I'm exhausted, and unnaturally nocturnal these past few days, which some are telling me is on account of the super huge moon lighting up the night, and some other hocus-pocus planetary stuff, which I'm still not sure I absolutely believe...though I do believe I'm haunted by...uh, visited by...my spirit guides, dead relatives, and guardian angel.

But once again, I digress. The point of this blog? That I'm writing again. And whether or not you're happy about that, I can honestly report that my protagonist Anna McGrory is tickled to bits that it is so. She wants to get on with this body identification process, after all.

Ohh...who will she see in that drawer in the morgue? Only my spirit guides know. I hope.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Wow. Have I been lazy or what?

Just noticed my last post was in December. While Novel Launch Day was pretty spectacular--thanks to all my friends and the two sites that hosted me and my NEWLY PUBLISHED novel (Gibson's Bookstore in Concord, NH, and MainStreet BookEnds in Warner, NH)--a few things have happened since.

Mainly, my step father-in-law has transitioned from our home to an independent living facility across the street from the hospital, which is handy when it is necessary (like all day yesterday when I went with him to a last-second doctor visit to help solve a suddenly painful issue). It is supposed to be a win-win situation: a win for him since he is so social and now has tons of friends to hang out with.
Some really cool wallpaper in an exhibit at MASS MoCA.
We were there last weekend to see the Punch Brothers
in concert. My life isn't entirely about taking
care of others, after all. :)

It's a win for me since I can again--in theory--return to my writing since--again, in theory--I will be less exhausted taking daily care of his needs. That hasn't quite happened yet, but it's only been two weeks, so my frequent trips in to see him are only because we have been setting up cable, nursing visits, dropping off medicines and medical necessities that are still shipped to our home, and accompanying him on his myriad of physician visits.

I'm not complaining. Just recording daily life as a Lyme warrior who has a few other co-infections off and on, and a plethora of autoimmune disorders. To make matters worse for myself, when January and February became especially stressful (did I mention my mother has moved in with us too--meaning I am also driving her and her little dog to the dentist, doctors, and vet), I stress ate. Don't judge me. When I'm harried and exhausted, white carbs appeal to me: especially popcorn and butter toast.

I'm still making plans and canceling them. I have only a couple friends left who seem to understand this bizarre condition of mine. But at least my husband completely gets me, or at least supports me and loves me despite my being prone to needing about 48 hours of rest for every handful of hours of activity.

And I plan to return to Anna McGrory's exciting life as a Lyme warrior and amateur sleuth. When I last joined her in unlocking her journey into Book Two of my Lyme Murder Mystery Trilogy, she was about to identify a body. She's afraid it's Frank, which should be just bones by now since it's been over a year since he was murdered. She wonders if there's a real-life Dr. Brennan (on the TV show Bones) who could be called in to make a more accurate I.D. But maybe it's not Frank's remains, after all. I left off just as she and her nephew were approaching the morgue, so I don't know who's in the drawer either. I can't wait to find out!

This rambling post is to say that I'm back. The writer me, that is. I've actually never gone anywhere. I simply got distracted by real life duties that have landed me on the sofa for far too much recovery time. But look at me now: a new post. Maybe the next will be to update my progress on the next novel. I can only hope so.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Tackling Flaws of Lyme Disease Tests & Treatment in Fiction


What do you do when your journey down the rabbit hole that is Lyme disease likely began with a misdiagnosis of ringworm, led to a possibility of advanced bladder cancer, morphed into several autoimmune disorders that required visits to a myriad of medical personnel, and finally, nearly a decade later, was correctly diagnosed as Lyme?
Perhaps, like many, you write a memoir.
Or you turn to the wisdom of Albert Camus and tell your story in a novel since, "Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth."

Protagonist in I Cannot Play With You Fights for her Health

I've given my 50-year-old protagonist, Anna McGrory, a state director for a U.S. Senator from the Berkshires of Massachusetts, all of the exhausting, perplexing, and often painful symptoms of my own Lyme disease and its co-infections.
When her beloved senator boss winds up dead, even Lyme disease can’t stop Anna McGrory from becoming a self-proclaimed Nancy Drew. With more twists and turns than the Mohawk Trail, I Cannot Play With You is suspenseful, surprising, and a total page-turner
Anna travels from her home in Concord, NH, to the Berkshires, into Boston, and up to the islands off the coast of Portland, Maine, in this tale of intrigue. The story, which begins and ends on idyllic Cliff Island, Maine, features favorite local businesses such as Casco Bay Lines in Portland and Angelina’s RistoranteItaliano in Concord.
Cultural attractions also appear, including MASS MoCA and the Boston Symphony Orchestra, which are spotlighted in end-of-chapter summaries with links to Anna McGrory’sPinterest pages. Also featured is the Trustees of Reservations’ Field Farm in Williamstown, Massachusetts, which serves as the fictional U.S. Senator’s home.
I Cannot Play With You is scheduled for release Dec. 13, 2018, by Texas publisher Black Rose Writing. For more information, please visit the author’s website at GreenChairPictures.com.

Find I Cannot Play With You at these bricks-and-mortar stores: Gibson’s Bookstore, Concord, NH; Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shops, Bar Harbor, Boothbay Harbor, Camden, Damariscotta, Freeport, & Portland, Maine; Cliff Island Store, Cliff Island, ME; MainStreet BookEnds, Warner, NH, and--thanks to the New Hampshire Writers' Project--at Toadstool Bookshop of Milford, NH.

Borrow the novel from the Pillsbury Free Library, Warner, New Hampshire, the Concord Public Library in Concord, NH, or the Cliff Island Library in Maine when it opens again in June 2019.

Online, I Cannot Play With You is available via the following retailers: Indigo (Canada); Barnes and Noble; Amazon; Black Rose Writing (Publisher)

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Feeling a little flush

Today we sign the state application for our septic system design, confirming we are the land owners and that the commissioned paperwork meets our building needs. While this may not be earth shattering to anyone else, it represents a huge step forward in our plans and preparations to build a home for our newly expanded family of four adults--my husband and me, his step father, and my mother. Onward. Upward. I wonder if this is how King Arthur felt when he envisioned Camelot.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Juggling buoys

We're moving. We think. We're actually mostly waiting to see the forthcoming building quote, hoping we can even afford to do this thing that we've already set in motion.

While we wait, our own home is undergoing an upgrade. New siding. A broken window fixed. Painting. A repaired faucet, a replaced lamp shade. A new sliding glass door, a new roof for an outbuilding, several replaced lighting fixtures. Upgrade this, tighten that. And all the while help the dogs cope with loud noises and new people in our daily lives.
A buoy sculpture, Cliff Island, ME.(Photo: JP Myskowski)

We're fortunate we can [kind of] afford to build and move. It's not our first choice--mostly since we have recently paid off the mortgage on our home. But it's not our last choice either, since it is all rather exciting.

When we purchased this home in a lovely cul-de-sac neighborhood on an oval about the size of a high school track with an open field in the center for the neighbors to enjoy, we did so as a temporary house. It was too small for our young family.

But over the years, as you sometimes do, we turned a one-car garage into a master bedroom suite, and finished the basement for an at-home office and an entertainment room for the teens. We planted gardens, fruit trees, bushes, a Japanese Maple. Two sheds were added--one to hold what the too small one-car garage once housed, and one to keep the wood dry for our stove. Privacy fencing popped up along the northwest side of the house to help enclose the backyard, creating a secret garden where laundry hangs and we hide from the morning sun.

Now we are four humans under one roof again. But this time it is two in-laws who have joined us. One from his side, one from mine. They'd never met before. I actually only met my step father-in-law once over our 30+ years of marriage.
Our buoys hanging from one of our peach trees.

And again we find the accommodations a bit too snug. And not at all private enough.

So we wait for the quote to come in to see if we can build our new home on a bit of land we purchased earlier this summer up the road apiece in a nearby town. In the meantime, we improve that land a little at a time--clearing brush, removing dead timber, paying for a septic design--while we daydream about living there, in our slightly downsized home, with just the right touch of privacy and separate spaces.

I've been sorting through decades of memories and the stuff you accumulate when you sit still for 17 years. My rule is: if we haven't used it in a year, it goes to the town's swap shop. If it's an item that conjures a memory, I weigh whether or not it brings enough joy to lug around any longer, or whether one of my children might want it. I'm growing surprisingly better at cutting stuff--35-year-old yearbooks from the three high schools I attended in Oklahoma, New York, and Massachusetts included.

If it's something that both my hubby and I have a history with, we decide together. Currently our challenge is trying to decide which buoys to keep. They represent nearly 17 years of going to the seashore as a family. But my husband's not quite as fond of them as I am, which has made me sour on them too just a bit. Should they stay or should they go? Only time, and whether or not we can even afford this venture, will tell. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Ends of Chapters


I've been reading mysteries for decades (never mind how many!). In the past couple of years I began reading chick lit murder mysteries that offer recipes at the end of each chapter. While I usually breeze past the ingredients and the how-to directions in order to get to the start of the next chapter and see where the cliffhanger takes me, I often return to the most memorable yummy snacks to try my hand at the concoction. Or at least to drool over the ingredients. 
Located at the end of Chapter 25 in my novel, I Cannot Play with You, due out from Black Rose Writing, December 2018.

In my debut novel, I decided to create a Pinterest account for my character, and conclude each chapter with a little snippet that sums up an aspect mentioned in the story. I created the profile and board more than two years ago as I wrote the novel to see how it felt. I really enjoyed jumping into the character of Anna in both my writing and via the social media board. I also like highlighting some of my favorite things in life, like the BritCom Miranda, created by and starring Miranda Hart

Here's a snippet of a conversation from an earlier chapter--number 23, I believe. The main character, Anna, and her best friend, May, really do quote from the show quite a lot. If you haven't seen Miranda, I highly recommend you watch it. Now. With a cup of tea. That's not too hot...since you may find yourself spitting it out as you laugh aloud.



Friday, June 01, 2018

Judge a Book by its Cover. Please.

The publisher I've signed with is willing to look at up to two possible designs for my book--a Lyme Disease Murder Mystery set throughout New England, from Cliff Island, Maine, to Berkshire County, Massachusetts, as well as in Southern Vermont, Concord, New Hampshire, Boston, and other points in Casco Bay, Maine.

Would you pick up any of these designs? Which cover most entices you? Please cast your vote via a comment here or on my Facebook post. Thank you!
Anchor Chain
Casco Bay Lines Ferry
Snowy Bucket
But how will we feed the children?
(My daughter.)










































Thanks to Black Rose Writing for its belief in my story. And to Canva, where I was able to create these possible cover designs. Maybe even to Lyme Disease, which has hit me FOUR times and continues to challenge me now, but which has helped me to slow down and appreciate the quiet (and sometimes not so quiet) times with family and friends.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

A Koan for a Spring-Like Day, 2018

As she hung the sheets on the line strung between the fence and the peach tree, a songbird landed on a branch above her, seemingly there to watch the middle-aged woman.

"Don't poop on my sheets!" the woman said.

"Tweet, trill, chirrup!" the bird sang.

"You're right. I can wash them again." And in that moment the woman knew she'd taken a giant step toward enlightenment. To celebrate, she threw the sheets to the ground, stomping and dancing on them as she sang at the top of her lungs a silly tune she'd learned as a child.

When she was at last exhausted and her sheets brown with dirt and green with grass stains, she looked up at the bird. It met her eyes, holding briefly on her gaze before flying off.

The woman gathered up the sheets and headed inside to wash them again. More enlightened or not, she knew the sheets were not going to wash themselves.

She was glad for the task.

# # #

Today's meditative writing eventually took the form of a koan. Or at least my attempt at one. I've been reading daily from The Hidden Lamp: Stories from Twenty-Five Centuries of Awakened Women, edited by Florence Caplow and Susan Moon (Wisdom Publications). I originally discovered the book and information about the authors via Natalie Goldberg's website listing of her 2018 Workshops. The three of them are hosting a weekend workshop I would dearly love to attend in September this year at the Upaya Institute and Zen Center in Sante Fe, New Mexico. While I probably won't be able to get away, I will continue to enjoy my daily dose of koans followed by the insights of modern-day women teachers. 

Monday, February 05, 2018

Meditative Drawing

Today's meditative writing session included a sketch assignment: Put down the book and sketch something you see now or everyday.

Using my reMarkable tablet, I drew our shower stall, complete with the shark sticker that our daughter created years ago. And dots of water droplets from our morning showers. 

Draw what you see/write what you see. Either way, we're painting a picture. Thanks to Natalie Goldberg for that lesson in her book Living Color: Painting, Writing, and the Bones of Seeing.   

POTUS-proof shower. Thanks, Sharkie!

Sunday, December 03, 2017

Living Landscape

Flocking, frolicking juncos scratching seeds in frosted gardens;
roiling, boiling, crackling, cooling lava blanketing the landscape.
 
 
 

Saturday, December 02, 2017

Batman Works for the CIA

Mother recently told me about a childhood friend,
A boy I’d played Caped Crusader with
Nearly everyday after kindergarten.
I was Robin to his Batman.

At his house we wore towels for capes, and
Were actually permitted to jump from
Sofa to coffee table to chair in pursuit of
The Joker or, my favorite, the Penguin.

At mine, our capes were mimed as a
Backyard plum tree provided the obstacle
To climb, dodge, and drop from as we narrowly
Escaped injury in time for PB&Js dunked in milk.

Our mothers kept in touch through the years
As we moved about the country,
She and her husband still in that cozy northern
Ohio home a block or two from our first house.

“Apparently he works for the CIA now,” Mother said.
Since learning this news, I’ve envied him. At first for
Becoming what I’d only ever dreamed of. But as I grow older,
I am jealous he can return home to a place he knows well.

My family continued to move, finally depositing me
In a New England college town like sediment left  
Behind by an iceberg on its travels; the rest 
Eventually migrated to Southern California.

In the year before he grew ill, Dad was accompanied
Everywhere he went by a new security guard. Mother
Would complain that the guard was eating with them
Again and sleeping in their guest room again.

The guard even traveled with Dad to his new
Destination of China and places around the region.
We wondered why Mother was no longer invited
To journey with him as she had so many times while

He visited the English plants that he managed from
This side of the pond, the German manufacturers with
Which he often did business, and his Italian relatives
With whom he was pleased to finally become acquainted.

None of us knew why he was suddenly sending us selfies 
From the Great Wall and Tiananmen Square, yet saying 
Little about his new Far East adventures other than they 
Were equipment-purchasing forays from retired mills.  

In an office desk drawer, which Mother thought
Was jammed as, upon his death she cleaned out
His personal effects, and which my brother
Successfully jimmied open, was a handgun.

“He was a decent shot,” said the guard who
Suddenly darkened the threshold, there
To retrieve the weapon. But we knew
Dad could not possibly have been. After all,

We’d seen him shoot his 22, balancing the butt of
The gun in his armpit as he used a hand to cover
His eye and the other to pull the trigger because
He couldn’t blink. How could he possibly sight a pistol?

Apparently he’d been trained to work around his
Odd handicap. He’d had to learn for his own
Protection. Not even an undercover CIA operative
Posing as the new head of security could protect

My father twenty-four-seven from the 
Hit that had been placed upon his head 
By a foreign government. Perhaps all his
Training had been for naught after all.

When he suddenly fell ill with stage-four 
Cancer—dying five months later—he often 
Said cryptically that it probably wasn’t 
Natural causes that got him in the end.

Dad had been spying for Congress. Foreign steel had
Flooded the marketplace, purchased illegally by unscrupulous
Businessmen who dared blame their shady dealings on legal
Loopholes that allowed them the luxury to shun domestic steel.

A contingent from a country south of north had allegedly taken a
Contract out on my father. Either they or natural causes—
Or perhaps all those chemicals he’d been exposed to over
The years—got him before he could deliver his expert testimony.

He’d spent many more than Malcolm Gladwell’s ten
Thousand hours earning his reputation for greatness
In the wire mills of the world, and could easily identify shifty
From legal, frugal from dangerous, and strong from fragile.

He also knew how to recognize working mills from
Reportedly retired ones, which may have been the
Final nail in his coffin—
Or cancerous tumor in his spine.

My father had worked undercover with the CIA
As a super-secret agent for our government,
Giving me yet another reason to admire him.
I wondered if he and my kindergarten Batman

Ever worked together, feeling a sudden pang of
Jealousy if they had. But as time continues on,
What I most envy is that my childhood friend is 
Still able to return home and visit with his father.
  
  

-->

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Dad of Steel

This morning as I fill and flip an
omelet, spread probiotics over the
dogs' breakfasts, measure chicken for
my husband's lunch, I half watch a
public television travel show host tour
the country ruled by a government that
years ago took a hit out on my dad.

That is one place I'll never go, I think.
Until he ends with a celebration of
Buddha's birthday and a chance meeting
with the American ambassador and his
dog out for a stroll and breakfast supplied
by the myriad of street vendors.

My father's slight against that country's
leaders was recognizing a trade
imbalance; they were dumping illegal
steel into the American marketplace.
Hired by our government to spy,
trained and protected by an agent
of the CIA, my father instead
succumbed to an aggressive cancer.

Within a few months of its discovery,
he was gone. Once in conversation with
my mother he apparently hinted at the origin
of his illness--wondering if it was natural
or planted, while also recognizing it may
have simply been the multitude of chemicals
his professional life was built around.

In our current age of political madness with
a commander in chief who, during a debate
with the other party's candidate, bragged
about using illegal foreign steel to construct
some of his buildings, I now understand
how money drives maniacal power.

And I wonder if my father's death was
a convenient coincidence for the foreign
powers, or a plotted timeline that cut him
down before his scheduled expert
testimony before congress.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Christmas without the ha$$le

For Christmas this year,
Our family has decided to
Exchange handmade gifts.

Spices neatly wrapped,
A cake freshly baked,
A poem, a picture, a whittled spoon.

It doesn't matter the form,
Only that we are together
Making memories and sharing love.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Soup

Soup has always
for me been a starter
to a meal,
not the meal itself.

Older now,
and a wee bit wiser,
I eat soup
as a complete meal.

This morning it is breakfast,
ham and artichoke hearts in
thinned Thanksgiving gravy,
the perfect starter to my day.