Ode to a Cat
Written on the fly/improv-style
By the members of the Advanced Short Scriptwriting/Television Writing Class at the University of New Hampshire-Manchester. Their names held anonymously until they either check in with me or post a comment in response to this silly, silly “poem.”

Ode to a Cat

I like brushing my fat black cat.
Cats have fur and some people
are allergic to them.
My cat likes to drink from the toilet.

My cat has a cyst in her throat
So when she purrs and breathes
All the neighborhood hears is
A high pitched squeal. She likes
To purr, so there’s a lot of squealing.

I once got scratched by a cat and started bleeding.

You were my mom’s cat,
Yet you nipped at my mother’s
Heels when I cried in my crib so that
she’d fetch me and feed me and hold me.
Thank you, Cat.

I’ve never had a cat;
I hear they’re swell.

Pretty little Kitty,
You can play with a ball
Better than the Phillie’s
Third baseman: Mike Schmitty.

You know you like cats
When you’re willing to
Pluck the dingle-berries
From your cat’s long-haired
Bum-bum.

The above served as a silly closing to a rocking performance of Omnium Gatherum, in which each student had five minutes to present and/or perform to the greater university and Manchester community during our final class of the semester. Bravo, class. It’s been a an honor and a privilege to have worked with each of you once again….

Cheers,
Dana