LEO PHONED HOME!!!

Leo called his sister earlier this afternoon and then called my husband just about 40 minutes ago. They had a long chat. Leo's near the seacoast traveling with a friend but -- and this is very important -- HE'S NOT WITH JOSH ALLEN.

WE ARE STILL SEARCHING FOR JOSH ALLEN and need your help and prayers, please!

Leo will soon be at his friend's parents' house; the father called us to let us know. He will likely sleep there for the night and then may be home tomorrow.

Thank you, everyone, for your help, thoughts, and prayers. I could not have survived this without you.

Now, please, help us bring Josh Allen home to his family too.

Thank you. And please enjoy the video of Leo bombing Depot Hill in Henniker on his skateboard, if you like....

Leo loves lobsters...

...and all things fishing.

Of course he loves skateboarding more. And, unfortunately, partying.

Latest news: he's apparently safe and staying and with a friend or friends. We've had two leads today on both boys that we thought were strong, but both turned out false. Still, we hope they'll turn up on more than just MySpace and Facebook soon. I keep imagining he's walking up our driveway now....

Thanks to Anne at Rachelfind for posting the video to YouTube and other sites. And to National Center for Missing & Exploited Children for all their help and support. Appreciate the help of the Henniker & Hopkinton Police Departments - they've been great!

And thanks to all of you: the many who have been sending notes of well wishes and spreading the word to everyone and anyone who might have seen my son or his friend.

--dana

A long day. But we've heard via the teen grapevine that Josh and Leo are safe for now. And staying with a friend or friends.

If you're one of Leo's friends, please simply pass along that we love him and want him home. We miss him.

Thanks,

Dana

HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON AND HIS FRIEND???

Leo Myskowski, 18 (with asperger suyndrome & ADHD), Henniker, NH

Josh Allen, 17, Hopkinton, NH

Both boys have been missing since 4:00 Monday, June 29.

Yes, the local police departments have been notified. Yes, we have been working on any and all leads we can think of. Yes, both boys are listed with National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and also with Rachelfind.

The latest: they are reportedly with friends somewhere in NH, hoping to attend a party in Massachusetts Saturday night. They may have found someone with a car. They have been on facebook and myspace last night and this afternoon, so we moms feel relatively sure they are -- for the time being -- safe, together, and making equally questionable decisions, though Josh's myspace shows him as "bouncing to California, already in Boulder, Colorado (which we feel is a deception to toss us off their scent since they have little money and, we think, could not have traveled that far already).

Both boys have turned off their phones (or the batteries have died) since late Monday evening.

Descriptions:

Leo's photo is current; he is six foot-zero, thin build, dark hair, hazel eyes, and on a skateboard whenever possible.

Josh is maybe a hair shorter than Leo, average build, dark hair and eyes (not sure how recent his photo is, but he looks like this to me).

Both boys tend to wear their clothes baggy.

Also note: though Leo is 18, he was only recently diagnosed with asperger syndrome and ADHD. He should have his i.d. and his asperger card on him. He does not have his ADHD meds with him.

Thank you for any help, prayers, AND PUBLICITY you can offer.

Am flying to Maryland today to finally interview a fascinating cartographer who worked on the DEW Line project up near the Arctic Circle in the 1950s.

I stumbled upon him, or rather his photographs, while researching my graduate thesis project, a spec script set in Nunavut, Canada—in and around Baffin Island. His daughter had posted her father’s photographs from his time there to her flickr account.

Our first correspondence was in February of 2008. And here it is June 2009 and I’m finally listening to the advice of William Zinsser and getting on that plane. “If a subject interests you,” he writes at the end of chapter 23 in his book On Writing Well, “go after it, even if it’s in the next county or the next state or the next country.

“Decide what you what to do. Then decide to do it. Then do it.”

I am so happy to have finally arrived at step three, even if I wonder if I might be subconsciously endorsing Nike.

- - - - -

PHOTO CREDIT: Bill McTigue, as posted to flickr by his daughter Terry (link to entire set of photographs above).

Island Dreaming...

Led my last class today in UNH-M summer school (by attending the matinee at Red River Theatres!) and met with my independent study student for the final time before his next assignment begins this fall. So once my grades are in, I will be kicking back, uh, er, strike that:

I will be writing, redesigning my fall classes, weeding, lawn mowing, reading, visiting colleges with my teens, interviewing a fascinating fellow in southwestern Maryland, helping my son with his new challenges, dramaturging (if you'll allow me to make that a verb) a play for a New Hampshire performance this fall, helping to plan the next New Hampshire Film & Television Office Stage Reading, finishing up my duties as one of three judges for the 48-Hour Film Project of New Hampshire (if you don't like a decision, I was out voted by my two contemporaries...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!), and, of course: island dreaming!

Our last full week of summer we'll once again be visiting the Casco Bay region of Maine. Almost every summer for several years now we have driven up to Portland, unloaded our cargo at the docks, parked our car for a week or two in the Police Garage, and made the pilgrimage to one of the jewels of the Casco Bay region. This summer it's Chebeague Island - our first time there...and our next to last Casco Bay Lines-served island to visit.

To say I love our time away on an island that is so close, yet which feels so far away, is an understatement. I like that we are car free for a week. And we sometimes even go computer free, except two summers ago when I awoke and worked on my graduate thesis every morning, watching the lobstermen and the seagulls cull the bay. And I love the fresh lobsters, sunsets, and family time...even if we hardly see our teens who, along with their cadre of guests, fish, dive off the docks, and suntan every day.

Sweet dreams, everyone. I know mine will be. :)

Don't Cry Over Bald Tires...

You know when you cry about one thing, but it’s really about another, larger thing going on in your life? That was me today as I pealed out of the tire merchandising lot where originally they were going to replace all four of my bald tires under warranty (which aren’t even a year old yet, doggone it!), but instead decided to point out some ridiculous miniscule text that apparently declared that my tires were TOO WORN OUT to be replaced for free. Say what?!

Okay, so fast forward about three miles. And I do mean fast. Too fast. And I’m sitting at this traffic light crying, feeling completely ridiculous, when it hits me: it’s not the tires that I’m crying over (though I am mad at that snow job and will NEVER buy a Toyota again even if they are the only car company left at the end of all this automotive fiscal mess…).

I’m crying because after weeks of reading and studying this thing called Asperger Syndrome, and trying to figure out how to help my son, I feel like I’m no farther than when I began. Like I’m stuck in my bed sheets trying to outrun the monster in my nightmare. And even though I read the part in the OASIS book last night that said if you feel like you’re stuck after recently having received the diagnosis for your kid: stop, take a breather, you’ll feel better in a few days.

So there I am sobbing and feeling self conscious, like everyone is watching me wondering if the crazy woman is going to be able to see when the light finally turns green. My worries were for nothing though as the ditzy woman next to me chatted on her cell phone and blew her nails dry. (I mean OMG – I thought I was the problem on the road at that moment!)

And so that’s my day in the life of a parent of a kid with AS. And it doesn’t even compare in the tiniest amount to what my son is going through. But if I think too much about it, I may go insane. So instead, I think I’ll heed the lesson in the book and take a few days off. Finally read that Rebecca Rule book that’s been sitting on my nightstand. She’s a New Hampshire humorist (and a great woman); I’m looking forward to letting her entertain me.

(Graphic above by my son Leo; he just had artwork accepted for exhibition at the Annual Asperger's Association of New England Conference in Boston this October! We're awaiting word which of his pieces was selected. Uh, sorry for the bad photo of a great piece of art; that's a mom for ya....)

Walking a road less traveled but finally named...

...in comfortable, familiar boots.  (Drawing by Leo.)

We have it: the confirmed diagnosis.  For our son.  Asperger's Syndrome.  On the Autism continuum.  Somewhere near full-functioning, but not quite. Not yet.  But perhaps one day.

And with it a door has been opened.  And a light switched on.  And every other illuminating, "a-ha" style metaphor you or I can conjure.

So this is what is on my mind these days, and what I will likely most often blog about.

I'll begin with a link to a poem on the Asperger's Association of New England website.  Bet you didn't know there was such an organization, did you?!   Neither did I till an early diagnosis by another doctor sent me searching for answers to my hundreds of questions.  And now I can't live without the comfort and support of the group.

The poem is "Because My Son Thinks Different" by Debi Baron.  It reminds me of the time I went to collect Leo from kindergarten and the teacher met me at the door.  She told me how, in honor of Earth Day I think it was, she handed each child a circle after talking about globes and maps, and asked them to draw Earth.

As she made her way from student to student, admiring their handful of green continents among the blue of water, she arrived at Leo's drawing.  On it was one single land mass, surrounded by water.  She complimented him on it, while trying to gently point out that there are actually several continents.  "Now there are," he confirmed.  "But this is before the continents shifted; it's Pangea."

The teacher was impressed, if not a bit alarmed.  I was proud, and not at all surprised.  

And so it was too with his recent diagnosis.  And I'm relieved that it was he who prodded us to bring him to a specialist to help determine why school is so difficult for him--even though at 16 he knocked the GED out of the park and scored high enough on the SATs in seventh grade to never have to take them again.

He will be an adult next week.  And while this new path still has a few potholes to weave in, around, and out of, I am happy to see signs that he is maturing.  A college sophomore on medical leave of absence, he hopes to transfer schools eventually.  First though he wants to take a couple community college courses to regain his self-confidence in his classroom abilities.  And this week he began a job, which he landed through his own connections, so he's feeling a huge sense of accomplishment there.

And while we still have tons of questions, we're learning to take one day at a time as a family.  Thank goodness life is about the journey and not about the destination, since--even wearing our comfortable boots--we'd likely arrive a wee bit late....